Pacifists: The scum of the nation

Jesus on a bike, where to start? After 4 months of doing nothing, yesterday was like an explosion of activity.

I thought I wouldn’t be back until tomorrow, but luckily the intro course was really just 2 days at the administration plus 3 days to find a good place to work. After the general dispensing of rooms and the introductory speech by our consultant (with simultaneous consumption of Danish pastry and coffee or tea), I quickly singled out four interesting places that I narrowed down to 2 after a bit of consideration. The music house “Pumpehuset” was quickly eliminated when the consultant tipped me off that I’d mostly be cleaning the place. The theater “Kanonhallen” was returned to its folder when I realized it would primarily involve carrying things around and working in the wardrobe in the evenings. That left the Tycho Brahe Planetarium and the Danish Greenpeace. The former because the work sounds (comparatively) interesting, the latter because of the ideological beliefs I share with them – saving the Earth, not necessarily by sailing small boats in front of large supertankers… but eh, whatever works.

When I’d turned in my wishes, it was time to wait. Which of course was an opportunity to look around a bit. The administration for civilian conscription is located in a very old red brick mansion which looks a lot like it was built for military purposes. My guess would be that it was used officers of the army, but I have no idea what it was used for. The building itself wasn’t all that interesting beyond being old and official-like, but the abundant stickers from times past where conscientious objectors were really in it with their heart and soul gave the building a special character. It made me feel a little nostalgic about this service, like I was one of the last descendants of a dying family which once had great traditions. I wouldn’t say the lack of a clearly defined set of values in my life ever left me with holes of gothically poetic magnitude in the soul, but it did nag me for a while, until I decided that it would be enough for me to just live by my honour. It sounds very oldfashioned when I spell it out like that, but all it really means is that I want to be honest whenever possible and stick to my principles… at least until I grow out of it and end up as cynical and dishonest as everybody else.

The point being that I almost envied the times when many conscientious objectors were really politically active people who had chosen to refuse to serve in the army in protest of the very idea of killing another human being. Sure, I did choose civilian conscription because the idea of war disgusts me and because I’m insulted by the prospect of being “disciplined” (ie. slowly brainwashed) by the government, but just as much because I don’t want to spend 4 months crawling through a mud-encrusted concrete pipe with 30 kg of equipment on my back. Compared to the guys who once painted four hippie symbols on three wooden planks and hung them up in the auditorium, I felt a bit wussy. But then I remembered they had to do 18 months of service including a whopping 4 week intro course (with little more actual activity than what we had in 2 days, mind). And then my envy vaporized in the blink of an eye.

My fellow objectors were quite a motley crowd. We were a few guys right out of high school, but there were also people who were married and lived in their own houses, a guy who ran his own company who estimated that he’d lose about 80,000 kr. during his service period, guys who had finished university, and guys with no education at all beyond 10 years compulsory school. There were even a few guys who’d briefly been in the military until they’d asked to be transferred to civilian conscription. Two of them had received their letters of approval for transfer 29 days after being enrolled. You have to be in the army for 30 days before you can subtract your army service from your civilian service, thus if their letters had arrived just one day later, they would’ve had to serve 1 month less as civilians. One of them had waited 3 weeks for that letter, having applied for transfer after 7 days. There’s no way that can’t be a conspiracy o_Õ

The three people we’ll be dealing with at the administration were all really cool characters. They’re old conscientious objectors who are 100% on our side rather than on the side of the secretary of defense. Aside from the consultant, who’ll be our contact in the administration in most cases, there’s also a doctor and a social consultant at our disposal. The social consultant seems to know everything worth knowing about economics and most things not worth knowing. He gave us a few tips for how to get the most out of our minuscule pay, and he gave us the most interesting lesson about the Danish taxation system that I’ve ever heard. He actually made economics interesting, I might have chosen to study it as a secondary course in university if he were my professor (and if Danish taxes weren’t still so damn confusing). One of the very few perks about this job is that I can get my glasses refunded if I have to change them during the 4 months of my service. Luckily, I’ve been wanting new glasses for a while, they’re all scratched up and I think I need a slight increase in their strength. Now the government will pay a nice part of the price. On a side note, it is extremely unnerving to walk around with a urine sample in your pocket for an hour. The paranoia that comes from knowing you will be soaked in your own piss if the bottle leaks is epic. Not to mention what would happen if you sat on it! >_<

The accomodations were abysmal: 40 years old military bunks, only 2 channels with no colours on the TV, a pool game with no 8-ball, a dart game with only 1 dart, and an old card game where the joker cards had been repainted to replace random missing cards. Thank god I only had to stay there for 1 night, I would’ve died of boredom if I’d had to be there 4 weeks. The food was pretty good though, and very very cheap. And even though Slagelse apparently has NO night-life (typical really, when I finally get out of the house, I go to a town which is even smaller and more boring than Hvidovre), the administration was less than a kilometer from the ruins of an old monastery of the Danish Order of Saint John which had later served as the castle of King Frederik the 2nd who died there. After that, it was mostly torn down and reused as building material for other houses. At least the ruin kept us occupied for an hour’s time.

So, that was that. I’m already getting paid, but I haven’t started work yet. I visit the Planetarium tomorrow and Greenpeace on Monday, then we’ll see which is more interesting. According to plan, I begin work next Wednesday. And if none of these places are interesting enough, I will have to go back to Slagelse and find some new places to check out. Bleh. At least I’m not shooting anybody!